Hole In The Wall


Shit Cyclists Say



Yeah, so I was just riding along
So I was just riding along
Are those carbon wheels?
Wow, carbon wheels!
How much does your bike weigh?
Do you have ceramic bearings?
Can I put this on a scale?
They have the best espresso here.
These carbon wheels make such a difference.
How much does this weigh?
How much does your bike weigh?
Do I need one of these?
These ceramic bearings roll so much faster
Do you have this in carbon?
Is that carbon?
Is this the lightest bell you have?
Yeah, I'm just doing a recovery day today.
I'm just doing (panting), just doing an easy day today.
Is this real leather?
What's your threshold?
My coach told me not to go over zone two today.
How many watts are we doing?
I'm not a big power guy.
I'm pretty sure my power meter is off.
I don't race crits.
There's no way this thing is right.
I'm not a climber.
That's not bad, 4,000kj a day.
Yeah, I'm more of a sprinter.
Yeah, I'm not a sprinter.
Is this a Strava segment?
Nah, I am not a climber at all.
I've alreay been out for a couple of hours today.
Crits are so lame.
(nose blowing, spitting)
Oh god, I hate grape.
All the euros drink espresso.
The roads in Europe are so much better.
I'd totally be a pro if I didn't have to work.
Wool is so in right now.
Is this a good place to pee?
White bar tape is so pro.
Is this what those Rapha guys wear, right?
Are you sponsored?
Hey man are you sponsored?
I'm sponsored. I get these for free.
Do you guys sponsor people?
I get paid to wear this hat.
Where do you ride for?
You shaved your legs?
Does shaving a leg really make a difference?
Man shaving legs makes such a difference.
Look at that guy with the hairy legs.
No no no, wait, wait. Don't tell me what happened in the Tour man.
That guy has got to be doping.
No no dude don't tell me what happened to the stage today.
Totally doping.
Do you follow Lance on Twitter?
Lance has the best tweets.
I can't believe Lance is doing Ironman.
Car back!
Hey man, car back!
Car back!
I need to lose 5lbs before I start racing.
What does this do?
I'm totally going vegetarian this season.
Eating is cheating man.
I think protein is going to get to help me out of my season.
Hey man, do you have a gel?
Is this organic?
Yeah, we'll see if going gluten free makes a difference this season.
If I don't like this, can I return it?
I think I'm gonna try out the Paleo(?) Diet this season
Hey man do you have any of that secret drink mix?
Yeah I am trying to bulk up a little bit.
I am bonking. Do you have an extra bar?
Yeah, I am trying to lose weight right now.
Does this taste good?
I'm totally gonna go vegan this season.
I'm pretty sure I have a flat.
Can I borrow a tube?
Do you have any money I can borrow?
I think my brakes are rubbing.
Do you have some lube I can borrow?
Does one leg seem longer than the other?
Can I use your work stand?
My brakes are definitely rubbing.
Can I borrow an allen key?
God this head wind sucks!
I think I'm gonna try racing cross next year.